and in it there are many dark places;
but still there is much that is fair,
and though in all lands love is now mingled with grief,
it grows perhaps the greater.*
2. I love traveling to different places and having new experiences. I love staying at home and not going out.
3. I connect with people as part of my personality. I struggle to connect with people because of my fear of being awkward, the uncomfortable moments following my awkwardness, the exposure of the fact that I don't have my life as "with it" as I may be able to fake.
4. I want to be noticed. I want to be anonymous.
5. I enjoy driving. I detest driving.
6. I love Mexican food. I miss Bulgarian food.
7. I have so many precious friends. I feel lonely.
The paradoxes I've discovered as I've readjusted to life as a nomad have been somewhat expected. I knew that entering the US after living abroad for almost two years would be challenging as I've had to catch up on current events, things that have changed in the US while I've been gone, and come to terms with the fact that my life will continue as a nomad. In fact, my most recent Facebook photo album is called "Home is where my toothbrush is." Sometimes this is a wonderful journey, full of meeting long beloved friends, reconnecting with friends who have had different paths, rejoicing in the beauty of far off horizons filled with azure skies and cotton candy clouds. Sometimes the journey seems fraught with peril--a dark, frightening place that has me tempted to hide under my covers, to run far away from the awkward, uncomfortable realities of being a recovering people-pleasing approval-seeker.
Yet in all of these paradoxes, there is one that shines brighter and overflows in comfort and encouragement: the One who was slain is now alive and He makes my weakness strength.
*Tolkein, J. R. R. The Fellowship of the Ring