My single friends know this life. And some of us, like Ted from How I Met Your Mother are looking for Mr. or Mrs. Right (NOW) But I've begun to think that my priorities are wrong. I've heard a lot of opinions on being single: God must still be preparing you (or him). It [getting married] will happen when you stop looking for it. You probably need to delight yourself more in God so He'll give you what your heart desires.
There are also assumptions about marriage that our society seems to hold:
- Marriage is how you know that you're a fully-formed, functioning member of society.
- If you're married, you'll be happy.
- If you get married, you'll be a better person.
It seems that marriage has become one of the foremost idols of our society. Is marriage bad? Of course not! Have we elevated it to being more important than anything else? Maybe. That question causes me to wonder if we have forgotten the rest of God's good gifts by allowing this one (of innumerable) to outweigh the rest.
When I'm asked if I'm dating someone yet, I often have an internal battle. I find within me the desire to ask if something's wrong with me, if I'm not attractive (funny, tall, tan, sweet, fill-in-the-blank) enough, if I'm missing out on the real life, if I am defined by my state of relationship to the opposite sex. Between wanting to respond graciously and suddenly finding myself plunged into self-scrutiny of my faults that society tells me are probably the reasons I'm singe, I often respond with either false piety (Oh, I know God will provide a husband for me in His time.) or I try to make it a joke (I'm just so picky!) But in either of those responses, I have a missed opportunity to praise God.
How is being asked a question that makes me question my entire identity an opportunity to praise God? Because, my friends, the gift of marriage is not God's only good gift.
Do I actually believe the Bible? Because if I do, then this truth is unescapable: God delights in giving good gifts to His children. To His own, he only gives good gifts. The question then becomes not "Why is God keeping me from His good gift?" but "How is my life now full of good gifts from God?" If we truly believe the Bible, then we also know that the ultimate gift of God is Himself.
*Barny's game from How I Met Your Mother