Dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness.
Delight yourself in the LORD
And He will give you the desires of your heart.”
Psalm 37:3-4
As a pre-teen and teenager, my desire was the American dream. I wanted the white picket fence, the two story house, a husband, 2.5 children, a dog, cat, and maybe a hamster. I had it planned: meet a man who loved Jesus and was going to have a good job in college. Get married near the end of college and become a housewife/mom.
My family spent a year as missionaries in the Czech Republic when I was in middle school and my exposure to living as a foreigner and missionary gave me an opportunity to see the kinds of things missionaries give up. When we came back to the States, I had an appreciation for the experience to live cross-culturally, but saw it as a nice experience. I assumed that I would be involved in missions as a sender and maybe go on some 2-week trips with my church, but not be involved more.
While my desires for the American dream according to my timeline saw their end--I finished college and began teaching with no husband or children in sight--I began to focus more on verse 3. As I finished college and began teaching, I sought for ways to trust in the Lord, do good, meditate on His faithfulness, and pursue His desires. I saw that God was giving me desires. These desires were very clearly not the desires I had had before, but were His desires. As I worked as a teacher in a low-income area of North Carolina, I saw God give me the desire to share the Gospel with those around me. Instead of pursuing the glory of my name, my will being done and my kingdom coming to be, I began seeking God’s glory, His will, and His kingdom more intently. By the end of my second year teaching, I was considering international missions as the next thing God would call me to do.
For the first half of my third year teaching, I prayed about this calling to missions and talked with my pastor, friends, and family. I attended a couple missions conferences (MTW’s Global Missions Conference and the first Cross Conference) and found my desire to serve God in this way intensify. It was as if I was experiencing something similar to the two men who walked on the Way to Emmaus with the resurrected Jesus. Just as their hearts burned within them as they listened to His words, so my heart burned with greater passion for seeking those were far from God.