But much revenue comes by the strength of the ox.”
Proverbs 14:4
I heard before I left for the mission field that becoming a missionary is like pouring Miracle Grow on your sins. So far, my experience has been that I haven’t developed more sins; I’ve just seen my sins more clearly. I have always been a people pleaser. I’ve always cared more about my own comfort and ease than that of those around me. I’ve always been bossy. I’ve always been judgmental.
In thinking about this verse, I realized that I’m an ox. Oxen are strong and cause a great increase in revenue in terms of pre-machinery farming, but they also cause a mess. We’re the same. God uses us to do a lot of work, but we are all messy. I’ve found that as I seek to serve God more, He’s shown me more of my mess. It would be easy to grow discouraged, after all, how could I ever hope to point people to Jesus if I am such a great sinner? But God has not left me to grow mired in the dung of my sin. He is cleaning and using me and I am thankful for the opportunity to see His mercy as I seek to work for Him. How can I point people to Jesus? By pointing myself to Him. I need Him just as desperately as any other person.